Every city has its own uniqueness. But for Kampala, it is the bad roads, polluted air (though nothing compared to Beijing), noise, bad traffic, name it. Having lived here fo so long, some of these may pass me by unnoticed. But recently there is something that caught my attention and that is the sign posts.
For starters, everything in this city from a Rolex making stall to the statehouse has a sign post. It is the class that differs.
But when I recently found banners and roadside adverts calling people to gain weight quickly without any side effect, I was puzzled. I literally stopped in my tracks.
Which century are the people in this country living? But given the fact that men love small women for fun, to be seen around with a portable girlfriend, the opposite is true when it comes to the one they take home for keeps – what we call wives.
Moving on Kampala road the busiest street in the city revealed so much. First was the ‘gain weight quickly’ which I quickly justified as explained.
But a few meters down the same road was another advert signpost for ‘gain bums quickly’. Being the lanky type, I thought that would be the solution to my ‘bumlessness’ and ‘hiplessness’. But a Muzungu ‘white’ friend I was with quickly told me that he finds me attractive and any additional bums or hips would break his heart.
Well that consoled me but considering that he won’t marry me, what is the next thing.
Well there was more to come. ‘Enlarge your breasts, or manhood’ now that was the kicker for me. I want to know how many men are flocking these offices to have their manhood enlarged given the stereotype that size is what matters in the bedroom. I won’t go there.
I talked to my workmates to find out what they felt about the signposts.
“Its all about the money. People are looking for quick ways to get dime,” Ssozi said. I didn’t ask if he visited the offices in regard to his manhood. Oh, I can’t believe I even thought about that.
But Silvia says she was as surprised as I was.
I will visit these offices and may be next time you visit my blog, I will give you a success story.
But those are not the only weird signposts. Look at the one on the left. What the hell did they want to mean.
I tried to think about it but couldn't figure it out. If you do, leave me a comment.
